Dear Candi,
Why do you always do this to yourself?Some conversing and flirtation with a guy, and you automatically over think, over analyse and over estimate it in your head. When it doesn't live up to your "expectations", you are then disappointed.
Cut yourself some slack and chill the fuck out.
Sincerely,
Me
Like, actually all the time. Ridiculous....
Friday, December 13, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountain side
So I have (pretty much) committed myself to another 12 months in this city, and in this job.
I do hate my job. With the fire of a thousand suns. Or maybe not quite. I have worked in worse - supermarket checkout chick and telemarketer extraordinaire spring to mind as infinitely worse than the job I am in now. But still....
Jo has set me a goal of sticking it out for one more year. In that year, I will more time to work with her on goals, and by the end of the year I will be going to Canada for a month or so holiday to see polar bears and aurora borealis'.
We decided that in the list of things I want in life, this is the immediate one (or two) that I want the most. I want to get married and have kids and a house, and I want a job at a zoo, but this is the goal most in my control. And basically it just involves saving money, and this current job is better paid than vet nursing jobs (although if a vet nursing job comes up in this vicinity, I will probs still apply)
We will also work on my getting fitter and un-fatter (pretend it's a word and just roll with it), so that I will be able to get a job in a zoo (not because the whole industry is discriminatory, but it has only taken one zoo with that opinion to shatter my confidence).
The marriage and kids thing - technically I could have a kid now if I wanted, but I'm greedy and I want the whole package. And again with the shattered confidence that requires some building up to believe I can have that, and to attract the right partner to have said goals with.
So despite the horrid job, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Apparently there will also be adventures along the way. Such as a half marathon (walking I believe, but still not something this fat girl had considered any time soon). I'm also going to do the Tough Guy/Gal challenge in Palmy - on my birthday of all days. A 6km run through swap and mud and army obstacles. Sounds fun (what?).
I do hate my job. With the fire of a thousand suns. Or maybe not quite. I have worked in worse - supermarket checkout chick and telemarketer extraordinaire spring to mind as infinitely worse than the job I am in now. But still....
Jo has set me a goal of sticking it out for one more year. In that year, I will more time to work with her on goals, and by the end of the year I will be going to Canada for a month or so holiday to see polar bears and aurora borealis'.
We decided that in the list of things I want in life, this is the immediate one (or two) that I want the most. I want to get married and have kids and a house, and I want a job at a zoo, but this is the goal most in my control. And basically it just involves saving money, and this current job is better paid than vet nursing jobs (although if a vet nursing job comes up in this vicinity, I will probs still apply)
We will also work on my getting fitter and un-fatter (pretend it's a word and just roll with it), so that I will be able to get a job in a zoo (not because the whole industry is discriminatory, but it has only taken one zoo with that opinion to shatter my confidence).
The marriage and kids thing - technically I could have a kid now if I wanted, but I'm greedy and I want the whole package. And again with the shattered confidence that requires some building up to believe I can have that, and to attract the right partner to have said goals with.
So despite the horrid job, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Apparently there will also be adventures along the way. Such as a half marathon (walking I believe, but still not something this fat girl had considered any time soon). I'm also going to do the Tough Guy/Gal challenge in Palmy - on my birthday of all days. A 6km run through swap and mud and army obstacles. Sounds fun (what?).
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