So it's been a while since my last update. A few things have changed:
- I got sick of being treated like crap at my job and resigned. I thought it was the dream vet nursing job, but that turned out to be a big fat lie. The job itself had it's moments, but was generally really depressing and just confirmed for me that I do not want to do emergency and referral work. It can be exciting, but give me the mundanity of general practice veterinary work any day. Especially referral medicine cases. It sucks when you feel like only half of your patients walk back out the front door again. Some of the team I worked with were awesome, and some of them were really really really not awesome at all. The job is too stressful to be able to cope with shitty people as well. And I don't really need anything extra to add to the downward slope of my mental health. I think being told by my "mum" that her and my dad had had meetings to discuss me, and thoughts of interventions, might have been the critical point that made me realise it is just not worth it.
- So now I am in an admin role. It's great. It is only fixed term at this stage, while someone else goes off to have baby (and I try not to get the eye twitch of jealousy for all things baby related). So it's until the end of March. I will try to win them over with my awesomeness so they find a way to keep me, but even if I don't, I'm determined to not freak out over the uncertainty of what I will be doing after that time.
- I have moved out of my temporary country paradise and back home to Dad's. I am a lot more comfortable about that than I have been before. I love my Dad to pieces, it's easy, cheaper, and who knows how much more time I will get with him (fingers crossed for the rest of my life, but the universe can be fickle). Plus Diesel is pretty chilled out there which is nice. Room to run around, trees to climb, rodents/birds to catch outdoors. And I have the bonus of bugger all lights at night or pollution, so the sky is beautiful and clear and full of stars to gaze at. I find that actually, despite the shittyness of his small kitchen, it's easier to cook at Dad's too. In the country I had a fancy pants big kitchen that I loved, but living on your own isn't as fun. Now I get to cook for Dad too. It's kind of nice.
- With the out-of-routine-ness of my shitty job, which involved shift work - nights, weekends, holidays, 12 hour shifts, generally crap - and people that I needed to escape from, and general excuse-making, I have loaded on even more weight. Talking to Dad last night and he mentioned how big he was at his heaviest, which turned out to only be about 100kgs. I was looking through my old photos from Ireland (wanderlust and itchy feet are making themselves very present), and thinking how big I felt then, and yet that was double digits and almost 30kgs ago. Gah. Babies and travel need to motivate me. Or I just need to motivate myself. Something. Broken record syndrome I know, but somehow I need to fix this. I need to find the fire within me to get myself going.
That about wraps up my update. Spring tomorrow - bring on longer days, and pretty flowers, and baby animals everywhere!
<3
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