Goodness it's a tad chilly tonight.
Puppies are growing rapidly - they are almost all 1.5kgs each - and they're only just over 2 weeks old. Little fatties. Everyone feeding well and Mama is looking good too. I wish I could keep them all. Though give me a couple of weeks more and I'm sure I'll take that back once they're in to EVERYTHING!
Not a lot else going on. First day back at work today after 12 days in a row of freedom. So hard to get up and drag myself in to the office. Not helped by the muppets I work with, and the students we have to deal with. Sometimes I don't hate my job, but I generally can't stand it.
In a month's time I get to go see Michael Buble! Woop woop so excited! Love that handsome son of a gun.I get time with both besties, and some Auckland-friend catch-up time.
Still liking the boy. Still not sure where it's going or what is happening, but feeling easier about it. For this week at least. Who knows where my emotions will take me next week.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
I'm not too sure how I'm supposed to feel
The problem with guys is how we let them make us feel.
The reason I try to resist liking guys is because, when the inevitable rejection occurs, it just reaffirms all the shit things I think about myself.
And if they want something physical, it makes you feel less shit about your body. But that's actually worse because instead it makes you doubt everything about who you are as a person.
I don't want to pretend to be anyone but myself when I'm getting to know someone, but at the same time, being who I am doesn't seem to be helping me win....
Late night sadness rant over.
The reason I try to resist liking guys is because, when the inevitable rejection occurs, it just reaffirms all the shit things I think about myself.
And if they want something physical, it makes you feel less shit about your body. But that's actually worse because instead it makes you doubt everything about who you are as a person.
I don't want to pretend to be anyone but myself when I'm getting to know someone, but at the same time, being who I am doesn't seem to be helping me win....
Late night sadness rant over.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
If you feel you're falling won't you let me know
Another week down.
I have the next week off work - I can't wait. I had originally thought I would go down to see my niece, nephew and sister-in-law. But since I went to Auckland last month, and am going to Auckland next month, and bought tickets to Justin Timberlake for later in the year, I can't afford a ferry/road trip down south. Hopefully later in the year.
Instead I have 6 adorable puppies to waste away a week with. Their eyes will be open soon and it will be nice to have cuddles with them before they become terrors.
Guys still confuse me - and mostly I just confuse myself. Trying to just go with the flow.
Might go to Wellington for a day or two next week - want to book in my next tattoo and catch up with a couple of friends. But mostly I will have lazy mornings reading in bed and afternoons filled with animals. Pretty excited about it :)
I have the next week off work - I can't wait. I had originally thought I would go down to see my niece, nephew and sister-in-law. But since I went to Auckland last month, and am going to Auckland next month, and bought tickets to Justin Timberlake for later in the year, I can't afford a ferry/road trip down south. Hopefully later in the year.
Instead I have 6 adorable puppies to waste away a week with. Their eyes will be open soon and it will be nice to have cuddles with them before they become terrors.
Guys still confuse me - and mostly I just confuse myself. Trying to just go with the flow.
Might go to Wellington for a day or two next week - want to book in my next tattoo and catch up with a couple of friends. But mostly I will have lazy mornings reading in bed and afternoons filled with animals. Pretty excited about it :)
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Sleep with my thoughts, dance with my views
The shock over the surprise arrival of puppies is over and is now becoming a bit exciting. They're so cute. They will be hard work for the next 8 weeks until they can go to new homes - but I miss animals and it will be a worthwhile challenge.
In other aspects of life:
- work is so boring and slow at the moment. But it means I can study for free which lessens the boredom. I think I'm going to do a human nutrition paper next semester for interest and for some real learning. I am doing a creative writing paper at the moment - hopefully that translates to more interesting blog posts eventually. If I write any interesting bits of work I will post them.
- exercise is going by the wayside - I was getting good with regularly walking Maia while Dad was away, but then she went and had puppies. They will keep me on my toes anyway..
- eating is on and off. I have a few really good days and then I crave a spicy chicken burger (damn you Wendy's). But overall it is better than it has been so I will accept the small wins. A couple of kgs down which helps.
Nothing much else to report on. My brother is apparently having a baby with his new girlfriend. Emphasis on the "girl" since she's only about 19 or 20, and he's almost 34. And he has two kids already - a 13yr old girl and a 16 year old boy. They found out about their new step-sibling via the girl's Facebook. My brother lacks both tact and class. It's advanced enough for her to announce it online, but apparently not enough for him to tell his Dad. Makes me so mad. He is so messed up, and if he just took advantage of the fact that me and dad are awesome, he would be so much better off. He's such a wanker. I was going to go down to see my niece and nephew over easter, and I'm not sure I can afford it - but maybe they, and my niece especially, could do with a distraction and some different company. I miss that kid - she is amazing.
In other aspects of life:
- work is so boring and slow at the moment. But it means I can study for free which lessens the boredom. I think I'm going to do a human nutrition paper next semester for interest and for some real learning. I am doing a creative writing paper at the moment - hopefully that translates to more interesting blog posts eventually. If I write any interesting bits of work I will post them.
- exercise is going by the wayside - I was getting good with regularly walking Maia while Dad was away, but then she went and had puppies. They will keep me on my toes anyway..
- eating is on and off. I have a few really good days and then I crave a spicy chicken burger (damn you Wendy's). But overall it is better than it has been so I will accept the small wins. A couple of kgs down which helps.
Nothing much else to report on. My brother is apparently having a baby with his new girlfriend. Emphasis on the "girl" since she's only about 19 or 20, and he's almost 34. And he has two kids already - a 13yr old girl and a 16 year old boy. They found out about their new step-sibling via the girl's Facebook. My brother lacks both tact and class. It's advanced enough for her to announce it online, but apparently not enough for him to tell his Dad. Makes me so mad. He is so messed up, and if he just took advantage of the fact that me and dad are awesome, he would be so much better off. He's such a wanker. I was going to go down to see my niece and nephew over easter, and I'm not sure I can afford it - but maybe they, and my niece especially, could do with a distraction and some different company. I miss that kid - she is amazing.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Playing with the cat ain't no business for mice
What a crazy week it has been.
I've met a guy that I like. And I remembered how much I dislike being in like with guys. It messes with my head. I'm no good at playing the games that girls are supposed to play. Not when I was younger and not now. If I like someone, I'm no good at playing hard to get and not wearing my heart on my sleeve. I'm no good at sitting around waiting to be chased. Ain't nobody got time for that.
But it means that I'm constantly scared of scaring them off. I'm not super available, I don't text all the time. But nor am I busy "washing my hair" or not replying for hours. Ugh. I suck at being a girl.
Anyway. I like him. He gives the world's best cuddles. And is just lovely. Which means it is bound to turn to shit.
In other news - I had a battle with a giant spider, that I eventually won. I ran over, and killed a hare driving home from town last night. It was the first time I've hit a live animal, and if I had been in the car alone I would've pulled over and cried for half an hour. As it was, instead, I had a wee cry when I got home and had nightmares about it all night. It also turns out that it broke a bit of plastic paneling under my car. Stupid rabbit.
And our dog unexpectedly had puppies in the wee hours of last night. We adopted her just under 2 months ago. I knew she had been in heat just before we got her. We had planned on getting her speyed but hadn't gotten around it to it yet (it's a costly business, and she doesn't have exposure to male dogs at our place). She had put on a little bit of weight, and her nipples were bigger last week, but she hid her pregnancy very well. Cue 6 puppies today. Madness.
I've met a guy that I like. And I remembered how much I dislike being in like with guys. It messes with my head. I'm no good at playing the games that girls are supposed to play. Not when I was younger and not now. If I like someone, I'm no good at playing hard to get and not wearing my heart on my sleeve. I'm no good at sitting around waiting to be chased. Ain't nobody got time for that.
But it means that I'm constantly scared of scaring them off. I'm not super available, I don't text all the time. But nor am I busy "washing my hair" or not replying for hours. Ugh. I suck at being a girl.
Anyway. I like him. He gives the world's best cuddles. And is just lovely. Which means it is bound to turn to shit.
In other news - I had a battle with a giant spider, that I eventually won. I ran over, and killed a hare driving home from town last night. It was the first time I've hit a live animal, and if I had been in the car alone I would've pulled over and cried for half an hour. As it was, instead, I had a wee cry when I got home and had nightmares about it all night. It also turns out that it broke a bit of plastic paneling under my car. Stupid rabbit.
And our dog unexpectedly had puppies in the wee hours of last night. We adopted her just under 2 months ago. I knew she had been in heat just before we got her. We had planned on getting her speyed but hadn't gotten around it to it yet (it's a costly business, and she doesn't have exposure to male dogs at our place). She had put on a little bit of weight, and her nipples were bigger last week, but she hid her pregnancy very well. Cue 6 puppies today. Madness.
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