If I hadn't assembled myself I'd have fallen apart by now

So this morning I did something for the very first time. Cross Fit.

From websites such as Nerd Fitness, and some blogs I follow, I've been hearing/reading loads about it for the last year. In my mind, its one of those things that I will give a go once I've lost a considerable amount of weight. That why, Ill be more likely to actually be able to do the workouts, and not feel totally out of place.

I've never been an overly fit or sporty person. As a kid I played netball, but I never really went out of my way to do exercise, and I've never felt at ease with any kind of physical activity - less so as I've gotten older.

I heard about a local cross fit gym from some people in a meetup group - they went to an intro day and loved it and ended up joining. And every time they've had intro classes since, it has been a weekend where I have been away up at Dads. So this time, I knew I was going to be in town, and decided to sign up.

In the last week leading up to it, I have almost emailed to cancel approximately 10 times. So nervous. Worried that I won't be able to do it, and worried that people will judge me or laugh at me I suppose to. (Admittedly, I don't think I've had anyone actually laugh at me at a gym before, but I do often feel judged - though surely the fact that I am a fat girl who does go to the gym should give me some credit!!).

What actually happened was quite something else.

Yes the workout was hard. They did help me out with options so that I wouldn't die, and mostly so that I could actually complete the workout (i.e. instead of doing box jumps onto a box that's knee height, which I could have maybe done 1 or 2 of, I had a stack of two large weight plates). We did some warm ups, and a 200m jog to the corner and back. And then the WOD (workout of the day). We did three sets of exercises ("box" jumps, push ups and lunges, with a different (decreasing) number of reps each time, and at the end of each set was the 200m jog. By the end of the first set, I was fucked. I jogged maybe 1/3 of the way, and had to walk to the rest of my 200m, and the other two times I had to just walk it. I was knackered. But I did finish it. And this is where it gets awesome. During my 2nd, and definitely my 3rd set, the few regulars from the gym were clapping and cheering us on. I heard my name being called out a few times. On my last walk, one of the ladies came out and walked it with me. When I came back in (lucky last), people were clapping and cheering. It was a pretty awesome feeling. Another woman pulled me aside and told me how proud she was of me, and how impressed she was that I had come along and done it - she had started in a similar state at the beginning of the year. She had me tearing up (admittedly, that can be pretty easy to do but not usually with complete strangers).

They were amazing. The most encouraging group of people. I have never felt so accepted before in a sport/fitness setting.

Unfortunately, it costs a lot and I still have a gym membership to see out already. But if I am staying in Wellington, then I will definitely be going back there. And at the very least, I know what I can do, and this should give me the drive to push myself harder at my regular gym classes.

Imagine, a fat kid like me, feeling at home in a gym setting. WTF?!