I'm falling for your eyes but they don't know me yet

So this time last week, I turned 30. It happened, I survived, I'm moving on.

I didn't freak out as much as I thought I would. The day before, I filled in a form at the tattooist and I had to write my age - I had a minor freak out that that was the last time I would write an age that started with a 2, but considering both guys that work there are in their 30s, it wasn't so painful.

30 does sound older. It sounds like I should have my shit sorted, be, at least, on the path to marriage and children and being sure of what I want career wise.

I have none of that.

Admittedly, I have my shit more sorted than I did 10 years ago. But that might not be saying a whole lot.

I think my biggest problem at the moment is too many options - which is kind of a nice thing to have as a problem. Canada? Japan? Aussie? Palmy? Wellington? Who knows where I will go next? And for once, I'm not really stressing about it (I mean, it's me so I am stressing a little, but much less than I would've been even just a year ago). The last few years have had a few changes - changing jobs/cities/study paths. And before each decision occurring, I have had mini panics. And it has all worked out (just like Jo always tells me it will - I do hate when she's always right!). So this time, I'm going to try to just go with the flow and see what happens and where life will take me. Amor Fati after all.

And one of the biggest things stressing me out for the last 6 months - the kiss with a very good friend of mine - I discovered the weekend that he does not even remember the majority of that night at all. All of the weirdness that I had been noticing, was actually just in my head and all of my own creation. Ridiculous how we can create something so real out of nothing. And now things are back to normal with someone who is among the handful of super important people in my life, which is awesome.

I have my current job for the next 6 weeks until my contract is up. A previous job I held in Palmy is being advertised, so deciding whether or not to apply, based on if I think I could actually handle the job again. It would be nice to be 'home' again with my friends and family though. As much as I do love Wellington - there does not appear to be a whole lot holding me here at the moment, but I may still apply for jobs here as well. If I do go overseas, it won't be until next year so in the meantime I will focus on getting healthy and trying to save up some money and just staying positive. I'm going to rock the thirties.